Q: I noticed that one of my males seems to only want to court the females I don't pair him up with. If I put the female he was courting with him, he'll forget her and look for another one. Is it normal for a male to seek a different female or does he just want them all at once?

Question submitted by Kala, Panama City - Florida

A: Mmmmmm.. Let me think about this for 0000.1 second:


Oh boy oh boy, that is just the kind of question that I could really go to town with (and get in trouble for)  ;).... hehehehehehehe... 

Sounds like your male suffers from typical "dude" syndrome. LOL  The "dude" syndrome alters the vision of affected males and will make them perceive objects that are further away from them as more green. Hence the saying: Grass is always greener on the other side ;).

If your betta was a real dude, I would say "Yes this is completely normal and there is not a heck of a lot you can do about it - short of riding the earth of all female population". However your betta being a betta I must say that this behavior is not the betta norm. 

Remember however that bettas are individuals and each one of them is different. Each have their own personality, own qualities, own flaws. Some spawn great but eat their eggs. Some are female beaters. Some are gentle but won't spawn. Some are all around great but look real ugly LOL. The rule of thumb is: The cuter the male betta, the more trouble it will be LOL. (I am only kidding)

This is my suggestions to you:

bullet Remove temptation. Do not let him go out to drink with his single buddies for example ;). Once he has started courting a female, remove all other bettas (males and females) that he can see, so to not offer him any reason to be distracted. Do not yet put the two fish together and in a first stage, see if he will continue to court that one female he initially showed interest in.
bullet If he does, then set them up to spawn. If they are not shredding each other (as in fighting badly), leave them in for as long as 7 days. See if he loses interest or if he blows a nest etc.
bullet try this experiment several times perhaps 2 to 3 times with the same female. Do not allow him to see any other fish at any time, even between spawning attempts. As far as he is concerned he should think that this is the only female that ever existed ;). If after 3 tries you fail to get him to spawn, then try again a couple of times with another female.
bullet Last resort. If you really want to spawn him and all above fails, then I would try to put two females in with him. Careful the damsels will fight for attention and may pull each other's hair out LOL, so always keep one in the chimney while the other is lose in the tank. He will be able to see both however and will court whomever he wants (maybe both). Maybe he will spawn with one of the two. This is a very unusual (and a long) shot but worth trying if you get really desperate. (The of course there is always the local bridge LOL)

Well I guess that goes to show that all males are alike and boyz will be just that: BOYZ. (sigh)

PS: To all my male readers: I love to joke around because life is too short to be boring and I don't like to take myself too seriously. Let it be known however that I was always "one of the guys", tearing down car engines, fixing stuff with my tools, riding my motorcycle with a bunch of my guys buddies and of course, being in a band with a bunch of dudes. I do not believe in sorting people according to their sex. I sort them according to their character:  Cool people on one side, and the rest on the other ;). One must admit though that there is a lot of jokes to make when looking at the war of the sexes and so I often run with it ;). So from me and all my female readers: WE LOVE YOU GUYS!  (Especially you, Mr.181!!!)

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