Q: Hi Faith My Betta Blue lives in a goldfish bowl .I got him a female who lives in a bowl beside him. He has started making this loud clicking noise (I think he makes it with his labyrinth). He will sit at the bottom of his bowl quietly or in a corner and then all of a sudden a loud 'click'. Do your bettas do this?  What does it mean?

Question submitted by Eric, winnipeg   Manitoba, Canada

A: Well, hum, MMmmmmmmm... (scratch, scratch). Uh huh... Hmmmm...    

Mmmm... Well,  (.......). 

Ah! I got it!! A clicking noise you say... Something like "clickitkclickitkclickitkclickitkclickitk" ? Oh yes... I know exactly what that is... 

OK, here is what I want you to do. When you hear the noise I want you to walk very slowly and carefully towards the bowl. Now be careful! You must be coming downwind from the betta and make sure he is facing the OTHER way. So he has no idea you are coming. I want you to check and see if you see any cables coming out of the bowl at that time. If so I want you to carefully follow the cable to see where it is plugged in. Is it  plugged into your cable modem? If so, then your betta is secretly hacking into your internet access to go to goldfish chat rooms. What you are then hearing is the sound of his computer keyboard as he is typing away at a whopping 10 words per minutes (Did this surprise you? Me too, I really thought bettas were faster typists LOL). Whenever he sees you, he simply swiftly hides his computer set-up under the gravel (an old betta trick)  ;). And that is why you never noticed he was sneaking on the internet behind your back!

See the problem is you put your betta in a goldfish bowl. For a while now he has been in this goldfish bowl and so long so that he now thinks he is a Goldfish. To make matter worse you then added a betta female to the equation. So now your betta male (who thinks he is a goldfish) is having an identity crisis and struggling with his own sexuality. In short, he has access to a female betta but secretly desires a female goldfish. Hence the lonely nights spend on goldfish chatrooms and Goldfish X rated sites LOL.

All this unnecessary stress (and high internet provider bills for you) could have been easily avoided had you put your betta simply in a BETTA bowl!!

(God I'm gooood.)

Confused about the above answer? OK, here is another way to say the same thing more simply: I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THAT NOISE IS.

LOL

None of my bettas have ever made ANY noise. If they had I would have questioned my sanity first. (Mmmmm.. Good point. Did you, prior to emailing me, question your sanity and have it thoroughly tested by a certified psychiatrist?) LOL.

OK, now my last crack at this puzzle. Your betta is in a bowl. Might you have glass or hard plastic beads (marbles) at the bottom? (Many store sell these so I assume some consumers got them). Or even coarse aquarium gravel? If so, then it is possible that your betta is either scratching against the marbles or otherwise moving them ever so slightly when he is at the bottom, causing them to hit the bowl glass wall causing a little 'click' noise each time. Ha? Ha? Not bad he? As a matter of fact I have just now convinced myself that that's what that noise is. 

An experiment to make: Remove all gravel or marbles or beads you have at bottom when you do your next water change. Be sure to store them inside a CLEAN plastic bag for reuse later. See if your betta still makes the noise when his bowl is bare hehehehehehe.

I do not believe the labyrinth has ANY noise making capabilities.

Well, as corky as my answers were, I hope this may still help you (if not, then I can refer a good shrink LOL) (hey just teasing you ;)) ).
Out of curiosity, would you email me to let me know the outcome of your investigation? Thank you and good luck.